By Maira Butt
As Ramadan comes to an end, many families across the UK eagerly await an announcement that the crescent moon has been sighted, which will mark the end of one of the holiest months in Islam.
When the sun sets, Muslim communities enjoy a meal to break their fast. Once the declaration is made, and this is expected any time over the next 24 hours as moonwatchers scan the skies, preparations are swiftly under way.
Eid-ul-Fitr, translated as festival of breaking the fast, marks the end of the Islamic month of Ramadan, a period of contemplation and abstinence. It is one of the two main Islamic festivals, and is celebrated on the first day of Shawwal, the next month in the Islamic calendar.
A special congregational prayer is performed on Eid morning, setting off the day. Various Hadith (narrations of the Prophet Muhammad) indicate that beautifying and adorning yourself in your best clothes is a blessed practice for the event.
After a month of restraint and frugality, the day is also marked with a feast of sweet dishes, savoury main courses, and many treats. Decked out in their finest clothes, ready to enjoy their favourite food, Muslims prepare to share a day of joy.
For Naima Adam, a trainee psychotherapist and founder of Instagram page Mind Over Mummy, it is a chance to create memories with her children. She and her husband have an eight-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son and it’s an opportunity for the family to introduce rituals and practices that will be both fun and educational.
“My kids attend a Catholic school so I do share the day with the school,” she tells the Religion Media Centre. “We send in Eid treats for the whole class, and we buy gifts for friends who celebrate Eid in school so that it doesn’t feel like it’s absent for them. The school will wish them a happy Eid but of course it’s not anything over the top like you’d see at Christmas.”
Naima will deck out her house with Eid decorations, make the day fun for her children with pyjamas, a treat at the end of the Ramadan calendar, and more. Children are often given money on Eid, so it can be a day of anticipation, too.
As for how her children respond? “They love it. I mean they get treated left, right and centre and it’s a day of no limits so they just are on Cloud Nine. I know that for them, spending time with other kids just playing in a loud house with family around will be a core memory just like it is for me. I see that joy in them when they’re having a blast too.”
And it’s not just a fun time for children. “It’s a huge day for us,” Naima says. “It’s loaded with so much sentiment, even from the word itself, meaning ‘celebration’. For me it’s about slowing down, and being present in the moment with loved ones who I otherwise would se only on fleeting visits. As a family it’s really the only time we like to go all out and so my kids absolutely feel that special excitement of Eid, I guess in the same way children across the UK celebrating Christmas might feel.”
But, she says, there is the added pressure of consumerism that also plagues Christian holidays such as Christmas, with the urge to buy and decorate overtaking the spiritual message of the day. “We have become so accustomed to hyper-consumerism that I think maybe we almost try to Christmas-fy the whole day, and sometimes things can get lost from their true essence.”
For Naima, there is a focus on making the most of the communal spaces she never had when she was younger. “Growing up I never had access to a communal space, but since having children of my own, things have progressed a lot,” she says. “Having access to the local masjid [mosque] the first thing I make sure we do is to go and observe the Eid Salah prayer in congregation with the community.
“I love it because I think it just captures the essence of what Islam is about, unity and Ummah, the Muslim identity. Cuddling strangers and people passing on treats to the little ones. It really sets us up for the day. Then we have heaps of family to visit and so we do the ‘rounds’ across the city.
“I and my cousins make a route for the day and try to stick to it so we see each other along the way. We don’t really get to see our extended family as much as we’d like, and so having the day pick up on lost time feels nostalgic and really crucial to ensuring that we aren’t so far removed from what is going on in one another’s lives.”
But things aren’t so straightforward for those who are new to the faith. For converts, Eid day can be a bittersweet moment of both accomplishment and loneliness.
“Loneliness is a big, big, challenge that converts face,” says Imran Rahim, co-founder and head of education at New Beginnings UK. The organisation, founded to support new Muslims, orchestrates one of the largest gatherings of converts in the UK.
Imran says that while for many Muslims, family is their first port of call for community celebrations, for converts, the experience with family can be varied.
“Community is family for a lot of us, but with converts it’s not really there unless they’re part of a mosque or something, which isn’t always the case because mosques vary wildly in terms of how welcoming they are.” He says that “heritage Muslims”, can often underestimate how intimidating small actions can be for those new to the faith. It can take converts between six to nine months to approach a mosque to pray, for example.
One way that New Beginnings attempts to make a welcoming and safe space for converts is to organise an Eid dinner. “I’m not knocking organisations who do this, but it’s not biriyani in a box,” he says. “It’s a proper sit-down restaurant meal. We have between 200 to 250 people who come. It’s quite a big gathering of converts, it might be the biggest in the UK.”
New Beginnings pays attention to details that may be overlooked. For example, as well as supporting converts, they will also invite their families. “One of the things that is completely neglected in convert support is families and spouses.
“They’ve got parents, siblings, and kids, who might be really concerned like ‘What’s my son or daughter got into?’ And it’s just a chance for us to make an effort to speak with them too and show them their loved one’s community. That goes down really well. It gives their family reassurance.”
As well as a meal, the events are not gender-segregated, and entertainment such as music is provided to ensure as much of a relaxed atmosphere as possible. Gifts are given and new friendships are made.
The reason he believes it’s important to ensure converts are included is because like all Muslims, he knows that community is at the centre of the faith. He has seen an increase in people inviting converts to celebrate Eid with them in their own homes.
“Islam is such a communal religion; it doesn’t tell us to retreat to the hills,” he says. “That’s never a praiseworthy thing. Here in the UK, it’s a very British thing to feel that your house is your castle, and you don’t let people in. You know you can be good friends with someone and you’ve never been to their house.”
And the response has been positive. “We have so many people returning every year for the celebration. One of the women who attends brings her mother and she enjoys the day so much she says it’s the best party of the year for her!”
For Zohra Anwar, it’s a chance to spend a day with her huge family — more than 100 of them. Every year, the family, based in Lancashire, will choose an uncle’s house to gather at where the same menu is served every year. “The menu every year is pilau rice and lamb chops, lamb and potato curry, sweet yellow rice, fruit, fizzy drinks and more,” she says.
“We all get together and eat, kids play and enjoy themselves. The main thing is we sit together, eat together, and have a good laugh. I’m 42 now, and that’s what we’ve done for years. It’s an amazing time, chilling out with all our cousins, playing with all the nieces and nephews and just having a great time.”
